Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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