So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
