remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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