We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
