do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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