I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
ttyl tear gas
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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