I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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