I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
