He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gargled with NyQuil
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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