No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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