she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
How external is "for external use only"?
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
