I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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