She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize