Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
