I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize
