so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
