Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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