Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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