so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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