Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
These 19 Sad People Chose Video Games Over Sex
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
Pick me up at 9.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.