Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more