after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT