I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.