I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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