Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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