sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
