at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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