I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
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