life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
