they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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