Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
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