Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I love having hate sex.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
