I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
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