Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I want to be your penis for a week.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
