One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
