I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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