This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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