I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
