Sry I called you an 8
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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