I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
