How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
