well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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