theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
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Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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