I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
