We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
