I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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