You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
