well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
