I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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