There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
