so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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