Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
