lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
These tits shall not be calmed
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
