what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
So vagazzling was a success
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
