Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
