I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
