Everything about him screamed your future.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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