my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize