I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
