I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
