pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I am midnight drunk by noon
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Randomize
