Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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