Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
