Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
