every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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